Weaning when my children are ready…
I find myself in the next stage of nursing. Technically…. weaning. My son is my last baby. I’ve been breastfeeding since my first daughter was born in the Spring of 2015. I nursed my daughter until she self weaned at 4 years plus some months after her sister was born. And my second daughter weaned after nursing for about the same time. However she did nurse along with her brother for about a year and a half. My tandem adventure is a story for another time. My son and I are 2 1/2 years into our nursing relationship so for. Some call it extended breastfeeding. Other’s call it nursing to natural term. The World Health Organization says to “continue to breastfeed for up to two years of age or beyond.” Or beyond can mean different things to different people. From the Kellymom website, “Scientific research by Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD shows that 2.5 to 7.0 years of nursing is what our children have been designed to expect (Dettwyler 1995).” So for my daughters to wean between 4 and 4 1/2 is well within the realm of “normal”. And so I will continue to nurse my son until it is no longer mutually beneficial to both of us. He will stop nursing when he is ready.
But now is not the time. For me…nursing a toddler is a tool. A very useful tool that I choose not to give up. Toddler got hurt? Have a “boo” as my son calls it. Toddler having a meltdown? A boo will calm them. Toddler can’t sleep? Boo to the rescue. Nursing really can be a cure all sometimes.
But there does come a time… when boo sessions are farther and farther apart. My son no longer needs a boo to wake up. He prefers a bagel and cream cheese and his water. The last two nights I’ve noticed that instead of nursing to fall asleep, like we’ve been doing for his whole life, he’s snuggled me, grabbed his robot and fallen asleep. No “boo” needed. I can’t help but think … this is it. It’s starting to come to an end. This is the start of the end of our nursing journey.
There have recently been other situations where normally he would nurse and now he doesnt need it. I was getting ready to leave my house and my mom motioned to me, put her hand to her chest signaling to ask if I was going to nurse him before I left. I really wasn’t going to offer before I left. Part of our weaning process has been that I don’t offer, we nurse when he asks and if I am available. I often just say goodbye and leave or escape before he sees me. But I offered. He barely made contact with my nipple. He nursed for maybe two or three seconds per side. And went back to playing. Let’s be honest, he prefers a chocolate chip muffin over a booby these days.
My son taking a break. 3 months from his 3rd birthday. Although sessions are getting shorter, he still chooses to nurse to connect, calm down and reenergize!
So to all those people asking when am I going to stop? Will he be done soon? Isn’t he too old to nurse? What about his teeth?
I’ll stop when we are ready
He will be done…soon.
He is not too old to nurse, as the average weaning age is between 2-7!
Babies and toddlers don’t nurse with their teeth! There is a whole anatomy lesson here that I would need another blog post for!
The bottom line is there are many reasons and advantages to continue nursing past 2 years. Breastmilk contains antibodies when my toddler is exposed to illness or coming down with sickness. Breastfeeding decreases pain for a teething toddler. It helps calm tantrums, helps with emotional regulation and is a means of connection. So even though I know the end of our nursing relationship is coming. We will keep going until he is done.
Here are some resources that have supported my nursing journey…
https://kellymom.com/category/bf/
And reaching out to local mom support group and my local La Leche League group;
https://lllofglassboro.weebly.com/
